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ghostsxagain · 3 years ago

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//hey friends. looks like I needed the weekend away from my computer. I had no muse and focused on other hobbies and tasks (yesterday Jamie and I spent the day running errands and hanging out and it was really nice to unwind with him - he woke me up with Tim’s breakfast he got for us, it was a good day). today I have an in class essay to write from 6-9pm and have to go to the pharmacy but I would really like to try bringing muse back later if I can.

I still haven’t really come to a decision about work though I think I’m getting closer. my gut is telling me to put my two weeks in now. and to take a few weeks at minimum off of work. just focus on the end of semester, do my assignments and take care of my mental health. then I can apply for jobs and take it slow. my mom thinks I may need to take a few months off to recover but I’ll have to look into what my options are (maybe if I stay jobless I can get a bigger osap loan to help with rent during summer sessions? no idea). I just dont have the energy anymore. under the cut I’m going to post what happened saturday. it’s long so don’t feel inclined to read if ya don’t wanna. I just wanted to get it out there//

so r, my supervisor started at 7am. I started at 8am. we had three open shifts throughout the day, with an operator set to come it at 9am and another at 3pm, then the manager, k, at 4:30pm. pretty baren schedule. well, the 9am tells r that she isn’t coming in today, so it will literally just be the two of us all day. naturally we panic because we can’t handle calls alone! and what about our lunch breaks! only one person will be on? that’s not fair! so r calls k and asks her what to do. k says to contact two other operators that don’t work saturdays and ask them to come in.... okay, helpful. neither of them answers us.

so we do what we can. thankfully call volumes are pretty low. k comes in at 11 and bumps our breaks up and she covers them. she sends me a message saying something like “thank you for doing this today. can you take lunch at 12 instead?” and I ignored the first half of her message and just confirmed the lunch time because I’m mad at her.

I come back from lunch and all hell breaks loose. k left and wont be coming back until 2ish. so its just r and I again and o m g. we keep getting calls from one of our property management companies. the residents received a weird note about the parking passes and that their cars will get towed if they dont go to the office to update the passes or whatever but no one is at the office so everyone is standing outside in the cold so their cars dont get towed. we took one disgruntled call and notified the property manager right away, as per our instructions. well, the calls wouldn’t stop. over and over residents called screaming at us. we have a queue of 5-8 calls for an hour, they won’t stop. after so many people yelling I snapped and just started bawling. I messaged r that I need a breather to take my medication so I leave for a few minutes. she apologizes and tells me to take my time. by the time I come back it seems to have quieted down.

then k comes in and she messages me another thank you message and I couldn’t handle it. I told her that this isnt easy or fair and this past week has drained me and I can’t continue working under these conditions. she apologized for the girl calling in sick, said she didn’t know that would happen, and that she tries to get people to come in. I said that my point is bigger than just today though, we’ve been understaffed for ages and haven’t brought anyone new on. we had three open shifts before she called in sick - thats a problem man. she said that she has the board outside (basically a wooden standup in the plaza the office is in that advertises that we’re hiring) and hasn’t found anyone yet. I got mad and said ‘look, I don’t think the board is sufficient. do you have an ad on indeed or kijiji? I referred someone to you and you passed on her, as have other ladies here. something more needs to be done.’ well she didn’t like that. she called me right away and was extremely defensive and was literally crying. she said that people hired need to work in the office for 3 months to see that they’re a good fit and that’s why she didn’t take on my referral (my sister who lives out of city, but its remote work so why does that matter BUT OKAY) and I said ‘K, I’m not attacking you. you can train however you like, I’m just bringing it up to say that us as operators have tried to help you with hiring and even that isn’t enough.’ she said that its been so hard and she’s doing all she can and blah blah blah. I told her frankly it isn’t enough. I shouldn’t have to be thanked for working BARE BONES shifts. I shouldn’t have to take 40 calls in one hour like I did last week. I told her I’m tired and have nothing else to give and that I’m being honest with her. she knows I’m a student, she knows I have depression and anxiety issues. yet she’s going to cry to me about how hard things have been???????? she didn’t want to talk or acknowledge my feelings, all she said back was “I guess I have to try harder” and I said YUPP and hung up. she immediately went on DND and didn’t take calls until I was about to leave for the day.

so yeah I’m done. a manager that has been with the company LONGER THAN I HAVE BEEN ALIVE can’t take suggestions? complaints? concerns? can’t just listen to her employee without taking it personally? hm. yikes. I wrote my resignation letter and am just debating how I want to go about this. I’ve been with the company for 5 years. I can’t take it anymore. the callers are tough already, now my boss has to pile on and not hire. I shouldn’t have to be thanked for dealing with this shit - just don’t put me in these positions!!!!

#if you read through all this you are a trooper and you're the best ever #hard decisions need to be made #I have the day off but go back tomorrow and would rather cut my ears off #laughing my anxiety off {ooc}

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owlposter · 5 years ago

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Okay so. I’ve been a part of the tumblr ED community for a few years now n it’s whatever yk I come to tumblr for the same reason the rest of you do lmao. However. I downloaded a new fasting app at like the beginning of the year and sure there’s a few like us on the lil community section but mostly they’re all just adults who wanna try fasting to yk lose weight in an easy manner or just for health reasons and stuff and that’s great!!! But it’s hit me today that fasting is one of those kinda things where it’s an iffy line yk? If you’re doing it properly it’s apparently amazing and has so many benefits and actually works and shit but I’ve noticed that the reason it probably doesn’t work is because compared all those healthy adults and what not using it the right way for the right reasons, almost the entire ED community is using it as a punishment? I’ve seen so many posts talking abt like oh I overate today so I’m gonna do an extra long fast tomorrow!!1!!1!1!1!!!!

Idk bbys but I think maybe this is one of those things that we could actually research a lil more and yk set up a fasting schedule and what not. Even though I wasn’t doing it completely right I lost like 5kg (~11 pounds) in like less than a month maybe from literally just fasting like 12-18 hours a day depending on how I felt. I wasn’t excerising and barely restricting how much I ate. The whole month felt like a was binging all the time even bc that’s just yk how me brain works lol. But even eating the right amount WITH a few actual binges and then just setting the fasting timer at like 9pm or something and leaving it until 9am -11am or whatever literally works wonders.

Idk I guess I realised that there are some things that can be good and healthy even though I have an ED and it made me feel good yk? Just wanted to like spread the word around lolololol <<<3

#body goals #lowcal #ed thoughts #thinsppi #pro recovery #bulimja #fasting #thinspo #ana #anna #anorexik #bullimia #buliimix #sad #ED

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neednothavehappenedtobetrue · 3 years ago

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(Hello I have typed everything else that is in this post and now I am putting a parenthetical at the top. this post is very long, so you don’t have to read it, and if you do read it, you don’t have to Experience Concern, I’m usually fine and probably will be, but! If you do read it, and you do experience concern, would you mind telling me? Normally I do not require that, and I do not actually require that you read this long post, but if you do, it might be helpful to tell me)

(Also I can’t do cuts on mobile, so, sorry) (aha I am on desktop now and have added a cut, though this post is now from the past)

So! the good news:

-every homework I have ever had is done! all of it! the two classes I needed to finish after Big Cascading Extensive Sickness are fully completed! I have taken five classes of my grad program which is eight regular classes and then a semester where you do your thesis, so like ten classes altogether! Halfway there! Woo!

-I do not acquire more classes until not tomorrow but next Monday after that, so I have a week with some downtime in it! in which to do ADLs and write and listen to podcasts!

-my health situation has been back-and-forth this past… time period, but today I do not feel sick, nauseous, panicky, brain-stuck or sad!!! I will gladly take the current Mood Situation over any of those, and double-especially over nausea!!!

now for the part that’s not a complaint but also not not a complaint

-so I still cannot lately focus for shit until the very last minute where I realize there will be immediate bad consequences of not doing the thing right exactly now

-(this is an intermittent Mood Disorder problem for me, we are tweaking my meds, I am not going to be experiencing this brain forever)

-the final project was originally due Monday, and then “Sunday if possible” and then “can you turn it in Saturday night so I can grade it early Sunday?”

-it was not his fault about the moved deadline he is expecting a big hurricane and wanted to get it done pre-power-outage and the registrar would have been a big stickler for anything after Monday

-I figured that anything before 6:AM Sunday counted for these purposes, as he seemed unlikely to be doing grading any earlier than that

-I spaced out very badly most of Saturday

-I opened my laptop around 10PM

-my brain refused to let me do literally anything until like 1AM, at which point the assignment was due sometime between “an hour ago” and “five hours from now”

-then I unlocked the ability to focus for about five to fifteen minute increments at random a few times an hour

-it turns out that “literally after the assignment is due by the most generous definition, it’s already late and can only get later, someone is this minute waiting for you,” the point at which I regain my normal ability to just like, sit down, do a thing, and then have it be done.

-I worked pretty much straight through 7-noon, proofread, formatted, attached the document to an email with some made up personal problems in it

-not because I’m not having real life problems, I just didn’t want to explain the real ones

-turned it in at 12:35

-G submitted my final grade to the registrar already and will email me final comments post-hurricane

-if he secretly hates me he still gave me an A in the class, so who cares.

-the assignment took somewhere around 8 hours of focus work, most of which I did in the six and a half hours after it was (again, by the most generous estimate) definitely due and already late

-I guess it’s good to know I can Enter The Zone if I place enough consequences on myself

-I miss The Zone, it used to be comparatively much easier for me to go there

-I very much do hope the meds adjustment fixes my brain a bit, and soon

-I just did a casual assessment of my feelings about things and got “unusually limited emotions, somewhat flat inside,” about it, so I’m jotting that down.

-I don’t remember how I’ve been feeling, exactly, but I do remember telling my therapist that I’ve been feeling a bit flat lately, so that does check out!

-alex, if you were doing homework for fourteen hours, when did you sleep last?

-first of all, I was doing homework for eight hours, interspersed with six hours of genuinely nothing, I truly don’t even know

-that’s not even a terrible ratio for lately, there were entire calendar days last week where I had a brain for about two decent hours out of twenty-four

-there has been a lot of Mindless Scrolling lately, but also yesterday I put my phone away and genuinely did not even glance at anything but schoolwork on the computer

-what did I do for six hours? my guy, I truly do not know

-that wasn’t the question, was it? I’m kidding, I remember the question, it was about sleeping

-I slept from around 6-9PM last night, for some reason, and then haven’t since! lately I’ve been very nocturnal as much as I’ve been anything, so I am trying to reset my sleep schedule by going to bed, very tired, around 9PM tonight.

-assuming I will feel tired later, not sure body sensations are things I still experience very often, including tiredness.

-I’ve been very verbose today, and my voice on the phone sounded a bit manic earlier, so maybe that’s a thing, but in a distant and far away way, even that.

-huh. I feel like that would be concerning if I was closer to normal today. might edit this post a bit and then share it with my therapist.

-hey Alex, if you’re not doing any body feelings, what have you eaten and drank lately?

-more than nothing, technically

-I mean what are you, a cop?

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taliel-strykidz · 4 years ago

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A Place Called Home

A little Seungcheol and Bao moment to start off.

Li Bao hadn't spoken to her father, Li Chen for a while now, it was going on months now. Whilst she'd been busy with the new album he'd been busy filming Keep Running in China. Alongside the busy schedule she spent majority of her day running around after the 13 chaotic boys in the two dorms, having made it difficult for the Chinese member to even pee in peace never mind have enough time to call her Dad.

Whilst she was sat waiting for the oven to heat up she sat and thought about the first plane ride she took to Korea when she got invited for an audition, how she sat on the plane next to her father trying to quell the tears in her eyes with the lump in her throat. It made her homesick remembering the sad smile her father gave her once they said their goodbyes in the airport. Thinking about him made her feel sick, longing for the home she left behind all those years ago.

The group had gotten back from filming Going Seventeen and they were tired and hungry, so as usual Bao was cooking the boys food for dinner, chopping the veg to make some Japchae. It had already turned 9pm and she let out a sigh realising she didn't buy any rice on their drive home. Bao was the kind of tired at this point where she needed a good months sleep and so much more. When Bao was overly tired like this made her really emotional and had become an ingrained part of her nightly routine.

"Cheol?" She shouted trying to find her car keys on the counter, when they get in from schedule Mingyu usually places all of Bao's belongings away whilst she works hard to make them food, but for some reason she couldn't find them.

"Ne Princess?"

"Have you seen my car keys?"

Out of no where Bao felt his arms wrap around her waist, tightening lovingly as she twisted to look at him. "You need to go to bed. They're right next to you- what do you need i'll go get them." Ironically there they were placed in the storage tub next to her purse, just as she went to grab them an unbeatable force stopped her from moving again. "Bao, go call your dad and go to bed. Huannie's already called me to complain that we make you do too much, and quite frankly i'm too handsome to have my head sliced off by the spawn of satan herself."

"I'm only going to the store Cheollie, I'l be there and back before you can spell Abracadabra in english." She giggled, unwrapping herself from his warm chest.

"Don't be stupid Princess." He took her keys and set her purse out of her sight and was already dragging her toward the door, her keys and his wallet proudly in his hand.

"Yah! I'm fine Cheollie you can stay here,"

"I'm coming with you at least- It's late."

"You're acting like I don't own hands and feet. Oh and my r*pe whistle."

"Where did you get a the whistle from?"

"Huannie."

"Obviously.."

----

Carots were used to seeing the two roaming the lit streets late at night, just passing by like they weren't global Idols. They were usually going to the store, raiding the ramen and generally having a laugh pushing each other into bushes. Fans didn't bother disturbing the Idol's as they strolled passed them, finding that the two were completely in their own world.

As they finished shopping they found themselves in a park, Seungcheol was enjoying the quiet comfort they provided each other in that moment. He only stared at the woman as she hummed along to a melody her and Woozi had made up in the studio only hours ago. Whilst in their comfortable solace she began to think about the moment she wished she was trapped in, how open she felt when around the charismatic man and their 12 idiotic children. Thinking about how much she adored Seungcheol's Daegu accent like he was constantly scolding her as they lived their life with their family 24/7.

In the middle of her thoughts she realised that she'd managed to hum the chorus that neither Woozi or herself could figure out in the studio, but she got pulled out of the discovery as he handed her his phone with her fathers number already dialled.

"Hello? Seungcheol?" Li Chen's broken Korean spoke after hearing the line fumble on their side.

"Hello? Pa? It's Bao." She smiled within two seconds of hearing his voice started playing with the drawstrings of Seuncheol's sweatshirt.

"Hey! Li Bao it's late why are you not resting?!" His Hu dialect was a punch to the heart, she could picture his forehead creased and him biting his thumb, it was something she'd gotten from him. They were family thumb biters.

"Woah, I didn't know it was a crime to call my dad. I was mainly checking up to see if Kai Ge hasn't beat you to a pulp yet." Another family trait, they were never overly loving to each other, avoiding any sort of feelings they had under humour.

"Hiyah, you used to say you were calling home, it's more like I should be calling you more often to make sure those boys are treating you well." Li Chen teased =, noticing she sounded a lot more happier than the last time they had called.

Bao giggled. "I think I found my home Pa, where these boys are is my home. I'm home." She replied softly smiling at Seungcheol, although he had no clue what they were talking about the smile on his face had him reassured that it was a good conversation. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close, gently rubbing her arm. Despite the drowsiness of her body and the faint sick feeling in her stomach, it fluttered at the feeling of her body pressed against his. She sunk into the warmth of his side, appreciative of the simple gesture. His touch made the air warmer somehow, her future within its air seeming a little less cold and bleak.

That night when they got home the boys- mainly Joshua and Jeonghan forced the two to go to bed, the boys were fully aware on how tired the two eldest were at the moment and took it upon themselves to look after the two. So there they were in their shared bedroom, holding each other tightly, despite the overwhelming urge to turn over and drop into consciousness.

Bao snuggled in, "You're the only person I know that gives indefinite hugs."

The man snickered under her gaze, "Well, princess, where else would I rather be?" In that moment the arms squeezed a fraction tighter and Bao breathed more slowly, her body melting into his as every muscle lost its tension to the spring air. This was life, real life. This feeling right here. It's home.

#Seventeen 14th member #oc addition #kpop oc addition #Seungcheol imagines #Seventeen imagines

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themonkeycabal · 4 years ago

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Welcome to Comic-Con!

Here are some things you can do to enhance your ComicConAtHome con experience to best replicate the real life con experience.

First thing in the day (you only have to do this part on day one), stand outside your house/apartment building/tent/batcave/whatever for at least an hour. Shuffle forward a few steps every minute or two. Then put on your badge (that you’ve printed or made for yourself in crayon or decorative felt work) and grab some sort of very large bag, put like five magazines or graphic novels in it, and then go stand somewhere for another hour, at the end of the hour run to a seat (literally run, or at least go at a VERY FAST WALK) and watch the panel of your choosing.

After your panel, if you’re considering watching another panel that won’t be up for another hour or two, continue to sit. Sit until your ass is numb. Sit until you’ve forgotten you have an ass. Watch two panels you don’t care anything about. Ass, what ass? If you have to pee, put a pet or bag on your seat, fast walk to the bathroom and fast walk back. Continue sitting. Mess around on your phone. Text your friends asking them where they are. Tell them when the panel starts. Ask what’s for dinner. Finally watch your next panel. Yay! Now you can get up and try to remember how legs work.

Speaking of texting. Text your friends right now. Do it. Ask them what everybody wants to do for dinner tonight. So what if it’s not even 12:30, this will be the most common and important question you will ask or be asked. WHAT’S FOR DINNER!?

Text your friends every twenty minutes or so. Ask them where they are. Ask them what they’re doing. Ask them if they want to go to a panel. You might have panels that conflict, oh noes! Share stupid shit from the panel you’re suffering through -- it’s probably some teen melodrama that will last two episodes. It’s so bad you’re dying but also laughing. Tell them, tell them all about it. Ask where they want to meet up later. You might think “but this is normal texting”. Is it? Is it, though? Text your friends every twenty minutes for five days from 9am to 9pm (if this is normal texting to you, find somebody who will take your phone away from you). Unless you’re in they same room, and then you can lower the text frequency to every forty minutes maybe.

Walk around your house/apartment/backyard/whatever, look at the program guide, mess with your phone, walk into walls and pretend they’re people, keep walking. Walk all day, except when you’re sitting through panels for four straight hours. When you’re not walking, or numbing your butt, you should stand. Just stand there. Do it. Stand.

While you’re standing or walking have your phone, tablet, or hovering laptop out, go through the exhibit hall page, visit as many of the booths as you can. At no point when doing this can you walk at a brisk or standard pace, nor can you sit. You must shuffle walk and stand. Go on. It’s worth it. Look at the art, look at the costumes, look at the things people make. I’m helping you have an experience here, work with me.

Now it’s lunch time. First, walk around for maybe fifteen minutes before finding a place to sit. If you have a friend with you, have them sit and you’ll run and get food. Get a hot dog, soda, and chips. Charge yourself triple. Now you can sit and eat. Preferably on the ground on some sort of cement surface. Your feet will fall sleep, it’s fine. Look at the program schedule while you’re eating, share your con haul with your friend, read the graphic novel you picked up. Watch your fellow con goers, enjoy their costumes, sneak a peek at what they’re reading (or posting about reading), maybe you’ll make a friend.

After you’ve eaten lunch and your feet have woken up, you can walk around some more. Do this part outside. Walk like, I don’t know, two miles. Even if it’s just in a circle, keep walking. You can walk at a more normal pace during this part. Also, now might be a good time to check out the Comic Con museum. Usually there is some sort of FX or Fox carnival thing out on the green to one side of the convention center, let’s sub in the Museum@Home. Or maybe there’s a big panel you want to see on Saturday, now’s the time to consider camping in the Hall H line in your backyard.

I hope you’re still texting your friends.

Wear sunscreen. Drink water.

Next it’s time to go find another panel. Stand in line for another thirty minutes to one hour, depending on how popular you think a panel might be. Fast walk to a seat. Enjoy your panel. Text your friends. What’s for dinner? Have a snack. The smart con goer will pack a snack in their big bag -- fruit is good, an apple or banana, easy to eat and carry. Trail mix, perhaps. You might need a boost later, so candy of some sort. Probably not chocolate, or it will melt and you’ll be sad and you’ll get it all over your con haul.

Try to squeeze in another panel or two, including stand time. But, now, it’s been a long day, you’re getting tired. You’ve been standing and walking a lot. Good job! Do one more lap of the exhibit hall. Pick a handful of places to really look at, maybe buy something or get the artist a ko-fi. Shuffle walk around your house. Enjoy the spectacle.

Now for the worst part, the end of the day walk. You’re very tired. But, the shuttle bus is far. It’s time to walk another mile or two. If you live some place with stairs, go up and down them a couple times. Keep walking. You’re almost there. And ... now you can collapse on your sofa or bed.

Congrats on your first day at con! Take off your shoes, have a refreshing shower, rest up, and plot out your schedule for tomorrow. Just remember, it’s a marathon, not a sprint.

What’s for dinner?

#ComicConAtHome #i hope you find this guide helpful #have fun!#i tease con because i love con #the joy outweighs the pain #i miss it so much #i think i'll go stand in our driveway for an hour

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bluemoon-writer · 5 years ago

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Time Management

In which Marinette Gets Her Shit Together

girl has a lot on her plate

so she has to work on some major time management

starting with what is most important

-first is school

She has to get good grades so she can get in to the design school she wants. All her extracurriculars won’t be shit if her grades are bad

so she asks her teachers if she can get a list of the assignments that will be due throughout the year (and uses a bit of her power as class president to convince them that she should know)

then she get a filing cabinet and gets to work

each cabinet is a class, which is organized by month

Marinette obviously can’t do all of her homework for the year over one weekend (some, like math, she can’t do very far in ahead either)

but it’s a four day weekend and she dedicates the first day to getting the first two weeks of homework done and safely filed to be turned in later

-then, it’s time to plan out the rest of her homework.

she can’t do her math homework very far in advance because otherwise she’d have to teach herself the math with would be more time consuming

however, most math assignments only take 20 minutes so she can easily do them during lunch if she wants

she continues to try and keep ahead on her other assignments so she’s covered if there’s ever an akuma attack that doesn’t give her time for homework or if she’s just too busy one day then she won’t have to worry because most of her homework is done

-the biggest thing is getting a head start on the projects

by the end of the weekend she was able to come up with a plan of what she wanted to do for all of them

then she looked for other assignments that weren’t big projects but would require a little planning

the third day of her long weekend she made a calendar, detailing when each assignment was due and when tests were. Later she’d add in events and commissions

-Then she has to figure out her responsibilities as Class President

-She has to meet once a week at lunch with the other class reps and the Principal to discuss any new policies or events going on

As Francois DuPont is a private school each class is suppose to hold a fundraiser each semester

(The Mayor and Gabriel Agreste would NEVER send their kids to a public school, you can fight me on this lol)

The class reps plan the school dance, spirit week, and any other schoolwide activities

Class Reps also have the responsibility of making proposals to improve things at the school based on what the people in their class want

And the class rep should plan at least one class activity a semester

(Things might be different in France, but I’m just going off what I did as part of student council in high school)

-Marinette decides on putting up a suggestion box in Ms. Bustier’s room for two weeks so that the class can decide on what they’d most like her to focus on fixing

Then, she’ll weed out the impossible suggestions and the joke suggestions and let the class vote on which options they think are the most important

For the fundraiser, to avoid too much class arguments, she proposes a few options and lets the class vote on them

Her favorite one is the bake sale, her papa offered to let the class come and use the bakery to make and sell the desserts, so she pushes for that one

and the class agrees because it seems like the least amount of work

For class activity, Marinette plans two. One from a list of ideas she proposes and lets the class vote on, and one that is picked by the class placing suggestions in the suggestion box and then voting on it.

Marinette knew she was going to be placed on the design committee when it comes to planning the dance, so she sketches a few designs for a theme to show the reps when they eventually start discussing the dance

-Then number #3 is her passion, design. She’ll need a portfolio for design school

She picks a few projects for herself that she wants to make and think will look good on a portfolio

then she sets up a website for commissions. Relatively low prices for simple things. She’ll sketch just about anything for €10-30 as long as it’s not too big. Color it for another €10-25

She can design and make simple clothes and jewelry. She prefers not to do anything too complicated as a commission bc it’ll just take too much time

She can also do odder comissions, like design furniture (she can’t build it) or tattoos (she can’t tattoo them either lol) she gets a commission to design a really dope sword, and another one to help someone (her age) reorganize their bedroom

starting out is a bit rough, because she needs money to buy supplies to make examples to post on her website and she needs money to pay for the website

so she decides to work in the bakery for an hour or two in the morning

(at least now she doesn’t have to worry about being late to school)

her dad respects that she’s working for the money instead of asking for it and pays her €12/hour bc her help in the morning allows him to almost double the amount of pasteries he makes

(Side note: I have no idea what the minimum wage per Hour in France is bc when I googled it it gave me the minimum wage per month and I have no clue how to convert that to an hourly wage)

So Marinette is able to make €60-120 a week for supplies

The bakery is open 7 days a week, but Marinette only helps out 3-5 days a week. She still likes sleeping in

even when her website kicks off (with a little help from a Jagged Stone commission) she still helps out in the bakery once or twice a week bc she likes spending time with her dad

-But with her schedule more organized she is able to get to bed earlier. She aims for 9pm if she’s getting up at 5am to help her dad

if she’s not she’ll stay up until 10/11pm and get up around 7am

those are the nights she usually does patrol with Chat Noir

ideally, she’d like to patrol more, but it doesn’t do much. Hawkmoth almost never sends an akuma while their patrolling, so they limit their patrols to once a week.

-Marinette can’t do much planning for Ladybug. When an akuma appears she has to transform to take care of it.

Which is what inspired her to reorganize her life and activities

One akuma can cause her to fall behind in so many things, so it’s vital for her to be on top of and ahead of schedule in everything

she does come up with a list of excuses to get away if there’s an akuma.

-at school she proposes an “akuma protocol” to get the students to safety in case an akuma attacks

-everyone is supposed to go to the basement, and class reps are responsible for double checking to make sure no ones left upstairs

this gives Marinette the perfect excuse to get away while at school

makes it a bit of a pain in the ass for Adrien though. Of course, Marinette doesn’t know that

-(eventually, Adrien suggest that there should be a president and a Vice President for each class. The Principal agrees to the suggestion and Adrien runs for Vice President so he has an easier time of getting away during akuma attacks)

Marinette almost had a heart attack when they start working together to plan events

Adrien is very impressed by how organized Mari is

she even schedules time to hang out with her friends (usually on the weekends)

though impromptu hangouts often occur

-now that Marinette’s getting a proper amount of sleep everything she does seems better

-She’s never late to school in the morning, she doesn’t fall asleep in class, her notes make more sense, she better understands what’s happening, which means her grades improve, and she seems to be able to remember things better, she even feels less stressed

-----

This was inspired by a stress management course I had to sit through for one of the clubs I’m in. The lady presenting told us that a lot of our problems are caused by a lack of sleep. A full night of sleep is vital for relieving stress and improving your memory apparently.

If you want to be added to a tag list let me know. I have two right now, one for anything miraculous ladybug related, and one specifically for the Childhood Friends AU, I’ll be posting part 3 of MariKim later tonight or tomorrow morning and one for Max and Markov.

Find Part 1 of the Childhood Friends AU here.

#I swear the presenter almost had a heart attack when i told her I didn't even get four straight hours of sleep a night #miraculous ladybug #ladybug and chat noir #miraculous ladybug au #fanfiction #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #ml salt #mlb #ml headcanon

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seblos · 4 years ago

Text

right now, there’s you and me

words: 1,018

series: snippets

read on ao3

It’s late at night sometime in early June, the actual time currently unknown, and Seb has yet to fall asleep.

Usually, he’s pretty good at going to bed early. His sleep schedule follows 9pm when he finishes his homework to 5am when he wakes up to feed the cows. School, followed by rehearsal every other day, and then a night of chores and homework tires him out enough to follow a schedule that’s very different from the rest of his classmates.

The house creaks as it settles. While that’s usually something that lulls him to sleep most nights, they seem louder and more frequent within the past 15 minutes, sounding more like something is creeping around downstairs.

(The likelihood of that is very small, considering how in the middle-of-nowhere their farm is compared to the rest of Salt Lake, but it still makes Seb’s skin crawl at the thought. He used to be very afraid of the dark when he was younger, and maybe that fear hasn’t totally gone away yet.)

That, mixed with the rumble of his stomach after accidentally skipped dinner trying to finish his half of the project for Chemistry before the weekend, has kept Seb awake.

Eventually, it’s too much to bear. Accepting that he isn’t going to fall asleep any time soon, he does his best to quietly slip downstairs for a midnight snack.

Seb reaches the bottom of the staircase, using his phone as a flashlight, as to not disturb any other members of his family. That almost backfires, though, when the dim light reflects off of the glasses of a person standing in front of him.

Thankfully, his shock is conveyed through a silent gasp and tripping backwards onto the stairs. It hurts his back when he lands on the hardwood, but at least he didn’t scream and wake up his entire house. It also gives the figure standing in his living room the chance to hold their hand out to Seb as an offer to help him back up.

Not just any figure. Carlos. Realizing it’s just his boyfriend that broke into his house in the middle of the night, he allows for himself to be pulled up.

Seb’s heart is still slightly racing, but he manages to get some words out in a quiet hiss.

“What the heck are you doing here?”

Carlos grins, holding up the basket in his hand that Seb hadn’t previously noticed. “I wanted to have a picnic!” he says, matching his whisper as if nothing was abnormal about the situation.

Seb glances at his phone. “At 12:46 in the morning?”

“Okay, well, do you remember that scene in High School Musical 3 where Troy brings Gabriella pizza and chocolate covered strawberries,” Carlos starts, voice giddy.

“Obviously,” he rolls his eyes. “Still doesn’t explain what you’re doing here.”

His boyfriend grins even wider. “Well, I always wanted to recreate it. I even made the chocolate covered strawberries! Unfortunately, I couldn’t get the pizza, because nothing is open right now, but-”

“Wait, how long have you been planning this?” Seb cuts him off.

Carlos glances at the ceiling. “Since, like, two hours ago,” he says after a moment.

“And you didn’t think to text me?”

“Well, that would have ruined the surprise,” he responds like its obvious.

While it’s incredibly sweet, and his heart is melting at the idea of Carlos doing all of this for him, Seb can still barely wrap his head around what is happening. He still has so many questions.

He ends up grabbing Carlos’s free hand and bringing him back upstairs to his room with him. When they’re safely inside, Seb locks his door and turns on the light. Heathen turns to face his boyfriend again, who is busy laying out the blanket he brought on the floor for their makeshift midnight picnic

“Okay,” Seb says, settling down next to Carlos. “So explain to me again what’s going on.”

“Well, I was rewatching High School Musical 3,” he starts, opening his picnic basket and taking out a Tupperware container as well as a few napkins. (Seb had made them watch it together once he found out Carlos had never seen it, and it had since become his favorite.) “And there's that picnic scene that’s kinda like Troy’s last big romantic gesture, and I wanted to do something for you. So I wanted to recreate it for you.”

Seb reaches for one of the strawberries. “How did you even get here?”

“Kourtney drove me,” Carlos grins, and Seb can’t help but laugh a bit. Ever since they got together at the end of HSM, the cast has been nothing but supportive. Apparently, when Kourtney offered to drive them anywhere until one of them gets their license, Carlos took it to heart.

“Well, I love your surprise,” Seb tells him. “I guess I’m just curious, like, why now?”

He notices Carlos’s smile drop for a moment. “I dunno,” his boyfriend says, shrugging as he pulls up one leg to his chest. “Summers get complicated. We might have opposite work schedules. I just want to hang out with you as much as possible.”

It hits Seb harder than he’s expecting it to. He hasn’t really thought about the summer at all, but he supposes there are only two weeks or so before the year is over. Even with his dream that has been Sophomore year ending, though, losing Carlos with it never for a second crossed his mind, nor will it.

“I’m not going anywhere, baby,” he says, sliding closer to Carlos and resting his hand on his boyfriend’s knee. “Just because we might be busy doesn’t mean it’s all going to stop.”

Carlos laughs slightly. “But what if it does just… stop?”

“Then we’ll start it up again, okay? We still have two years left at East High, so you’re not getting rid of me any time soon,” he says, leaning in to kiss Carlos.

“Though I have to say,” Seb adds when he pulls away. “I do like the midnight picnic.”

Carlos grins, handing him another strawberry. “I thought you might.”

#seblos #seb matthew smith #carlos rodriguez #hsmtmts #high school musical the musical the series #my writing #snippets

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atomicwizardyouth · 4 years ago

Text

Getting diagnosed with ASD as an adult

Okay so I need to get some stuff off of my chest.

So I’ve only recently (~2 years ago) been diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD/Autism) and I got that diagnosis at age 22. Now how did I get this diagnosis you ask? Great question! I didn’t want to get tested for anything, I just needed someone to vent to so I could get rid of the fucking suicidal idealisation.

Oh but OP, it can’t be that bad? Fuck off. I went through hell in my teenage years with people dying every. Single. Fucking. Year. after I turned 13. It’s a long story, it usually takes 30-60 minutes to give people the short version so I’m gonna skip that for now.

So here’s what I figured out that sucks about autism:

- I don’t feel stress, I just feel headaches and muscle pains and then I need to figure out if it’s because of a whole list of reasons or just cuz of stress

- Apparently I am more sensitive to sounds, visual stimuli, light and smells than a regular person which causes me to be stressed out a lot quicker than a NT human. Yeah this is fucking great when you can’t feel the stress build up!

- I have low empathy and seriously struggle with the entire ‘putting myself into someone else’s position’ because I just can’t understand what it’s like for them (please don’t ever cry near me, PLEASE)

- My world is very easy: predictable = good, good = healthy schedules & taking care of myself. Unpredictable/changes = bad, bad = no energy, no structure & I basically ignore all of my bodily signals. That’s bad! (won’t eat and stuff like that)

- Logic is my standard reaction, if logic doesn’t work it’s immediate anger. Yeah it fucking sucks, I know, but I can’t fucking control it any more than I already do. What is a ‘minor inconvenience’ for a NT person can be a “PRESS THE BIG RED BUTTON FOR RAGE” for me and then I need to throw something, or break something because otherwise my head gets stuck in a feedback loop of anger, resentment & regret and then it gets WORSE.

- I am always doing something with my fingers, hands or legs because otherwise something is wrong

- If someone messes with my schedule it can ruin my day and if it’s a big thing it can ruin a week or MORE and there’s NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT IT. If you want me to do anything give me ~24 hour warning and I’ll be 100% fine. If you tell me at 8pm that my 9pm plans need to be changed? Be prepared to deal with stressed/anxious/angry me!

- I am afraid of what people might think of me now I’m labelled with something that’s this permanent and uncurable, so I am constantly anxious (working on that with therapy tho)

- People that break very clear rules around me make me FURIOUS, this is especially relevant during the pandemic. People that wear masks under their noses and people that don’t keep 1.5m distance suck a lot! People that don’t follow traffic laws (A RED LIGHT MEANS YOU STOP YOU FUCKHEADS) and it’s very rough to figure out that other people don’t see it like this and that I’m the ‘weirdo’ in this case.

And now here are the good things!:

- I have a very strong long term memory where I can clearly recall details from conversations, things I learned or from random things if my brain deemed them important enough at the time. I can still vividly remember things I learned in elementary school and once that memory gets triggered I can recite that knowledge like I’d just read it (but it ONLY works if the memory gets ‘properly’ triggered)

- My logic & reasoning skills are very good!

- Languages are easy to pick up (apart from French, fuck French) since you just kind of learn the rules and then follow them and then you have a functioning language! (I’m fluent in Dutch & English, I’m passable in German and currently studying Danish because I want to)

- I’m great at finance & law! Rules rules rules rules rules they are SO NICE and it’s great to be able to follow rules to help people make sense of the insanity that law & finance is. I’m able to see minute details that are off (11 euros in a 10 million budget and that intuition of “something is OFF HERE” whenever I just look through finances and calculations. Also please play boardgames with me but GIVE ME THE MANUAL, PLEAAAASE. I absolutely love reading through them and then remembering all the rules and then I can explain them to everyone!!!!!!!!

- Hyperfixation on fun projects and stuff!!!! I absolutely love being able to just close myself off from the entire world to do something that my brain thinks is great to do at that time! That can sometimes be videogames (looking at you, civ 5 sessions that last 12+ hours for a few days in a row), something creative or even reading! I love to just jump into another world (especially magic!!!!) and just live through those books for a few days/weeks at a time

And just some general things:

- It’s great to see that talking about mental health has become more accepted in the online communities and it’s becoming better irl as well! I feel absolutely validated by some of the stories people have shared here on tumblr, but also on reddit and it makes me feel accepted and it makes me feel like I still belong in this world!

- Suddenly a lot of the stuff I did as a kid is now easily explained by “ah I was being an autistic kid at times” instead of trying to figure out why I did things differently or had more problems with certain things (seriously, fuck any art class that made me make an ‘original’ product, I can only IMITATE STUFF)

- Life is too short to be scared of your own disorders, so learn about them and try to deal with some of your shit and (hopefully) your life becomes a bit better :D

It’s tough for me to see the good instead of the bad (human brain being fucky and a bit depresso) but I hope some of you can relate to this or find this and figure out that you’re not alone!

#autism #autistic experiences #autistic adult

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vtscasefiles · 4 years ago

Text

Case File 563-7

Trigger warnings: blood, gore, death, infant death, guns, gun violence

[Editor’s note: this is one of VT’s shorter cases. It does not have a happy outcome. You have been warned.]

Case begun: 1/12/20**

Case concluded: 1/13/20**

Case locale: [REDACTED], Nevada

Marked as Closed

From the outset, this case stunk. Even Ramona had misgivings. She practically begged me not to go. “VT, there’s something wrong here. I don’t know what, but I just have this feeling.”

“It’ll be fine.” I’d assured her. “It’s a simple shakedown. It’s just a spirit. It’s nothing too insidious.”

Famous last words.

This case came to my from a friend of a friend. It was a simple haunting, the spirit was pestering a young family. Nothing a few sprinkles of blessed water and a liberal application of smudging couldn’t fix. Worst case, I’d have to exorcise.

Still, Ramona’s words bothered me, so I packed up a few extra goodies. Salt, my saint bone necklace (It’s only a toe bone, don’t ask where I got it.) and a few rounds of my most potent ammunition. I don’t want to say what it was made out of, due to the...questionable nature of how it was sourced. Point being that they’d deal with anything short of a god.

My friend, [REDACTED AT SUBJECT’S REQUEST], met me at the bus station. My car was out of commission, due to it being a piece of shit. Though [REDACTED] was more than happy to loan me their car.

I really wish I’d listened to Ramona.

I arrived at the client’s house around noon. They were a friendly enough couple. Due to ongoing SC investigation, I’m only going to refer to them as Husband and Wife. I could get in a lot of hot water if I put their names out there and someone fucked up the investigation.

Husband was tall-ish. Only a scant few inches taller than myself. He was your typical, hipster fella. Too tight pants, a band tee with a band he listened to “before it was cool” and a scruffy little beard with an overly manicured mustache. Wife was more my speed, though. Overalls, splattered with paint and a tank top. We love a handy lady.

They welcomed me graciously, introduced me to their newborn, who shall be known as Baby. She was a cute, little thing...even I could admit that and I hate babies. They scream, puke and shit, usually at the same time. Not for me, nope. Even so, I held the kid at their insistence and the girl just...stared. I couldn’t help but pull faces until the child started to laugh.

So, maybe “hate” is a strong word.

They took me to the room where their little spirit friend was causing the most havoc. It was to be Baby’s room. A crib settled in a corner, toys strewn around for the child’s amusement. A light fixture shaped like a unicorn.

Oh, and let’s not forget the words “HELP ME” painted on the wall in bright, yellow paint. Perfect décor for an infant, right?

“So, Husband.”, I’d said, turning to face him, Baby still in my arms. “We going for an escape pre-school motif or something?” he laughed a strained laugh.

“We didn’t have this problem when we moved in.” he said, rubbing at his eyes beneath the glasses that I don’t think he actually needed. “After Baby was born everything sort of...escalated.” he shuffled his feet and frowned. “We don’t want to move. We put a lot of work into our home, VT.”

“Well.” I said, foisting Baby off into Wife’s arms. “It might be a wandering spirit...might even be a kid. They tend to gravitate towards new parents, in hopes someone can help them. I’ll come back tonight to see if we can’t contact the spirit and figure out what’s going on.”

“Tonight might be...problematic. We have a little ceremony planned for Baby.” she said, smiling and dimpling in the *cutest* way. “All the neighbors will be there!”

You see where this is going now, right? Fuck, I wish I had.

“I mean, so long as it isn’t in this house. Large gatherings might upset the spirit.” I said, softly. Baby was already dozing in her mother’s arms. “If it has to be here, I can always come afterwards.”

They agreed and [REDACTED] had me drive them home before I took the car to their motel. I was scheduled for another walkthrough around ten, tonight. That gave me time to shower, check my gear, take a nap and check my gear, again.

Then it all went to hell.

It’s no secret that most PEs are riddled with ink. I’m no different, but all of mine are on my back and upper arms. It took time to learn which portion of my skin would react to whatever was in the air.

The dead center of my back, right on top of the upper portion of my spine, lit up like fire. Usually, it’s a small, specific spot, but it felt like there were three or four of the small, inked runes lighting up at once.

Necromancy.

Blood magic.

Demonic presence.

Those are the big three tattoos. If one of those goes off, I know I need back up. If all three go off...run. Just run. Necromancy in of itself isn’t a strictly forbidden art in the SC, but blood magic is. Demons, on the other hand...well, they’re just like other members of the SC. Some are good, some are bad and some...some need a hot lead injection right between the eyes.

That tattoo only lit up in the presence of a demon with evil on the mind. Feeling the pain in my back, my fight or flight responses kicked in. I strapped Peace to my thigh, shouldered my bag and made for [REDACTED]’s car.

I made it to the house at 9pm, a full hour before I was due. Cars were lined up down the block, so I just parked in a vacant driveway. I could apologize later. My phone jingled it’s clarion call and I answered immediately. I always answer Ramona as quickly as I can. “VT!” she was practically in the midst of a panic attack. “I was scrying and I had to call. VT, you need to come home now. Whatever case you’re on, drop it.”

“There’s a kid in there, Ramona.” I protested, eyes on the lit up windows of Husband and Wife’s home. “I can’t walk away.”

“VT, you don’t even like kids. And honestly...all I saw was blood. I hate to say it VT, but that child is probably -- “ “I know!” I shouted, the burning in my back getting all the more intense. “I know. Look, I know I don’t like kids, but that doesn’t mean I want to let one die. If there’s anything I can do, I have to do it.”

Ramona went silent, and I waited. “...I’ll pray to the spirits for your protection, VT. Come back to me alive, okay?”

“You got it.” I responded, my finger making for the screen to terminate the call. “Bye, Ramona.”

“Wait!”, her sudden shout stilled my hand. “Give ‘em hell.” I smiled and terminated the call.

The time for subterfuge and lockpicking had passed. I emptied a box of Elinor’s “special blend” into my pocket and checked Peace’s cylinder. Everything looked ready.

I bolted for the door and hammered on it. No answer. No sound beyond the door. I kicked, just next to the deadbolt and only got a wonderful jolting sensation that sent me limping and cursing in a circle.

I wasted no time in stepping back to the street and running, full tilt, for the nearest window and diving straight through. I felt the glass slice open my arm as I covered my head for protection.

I rolled across the carpet as I landed and came up with Peace in hand. Nothing. No one. The house was completely empty.

All of these houses were built the same, so it was a fair guess this place had both and attic and a basement. My leg still smarted, so the thought of climbing stairs up didn’t appeal, so I resolved to check the basement.

It’s always fucking basements.

The door was easy enough to find, right beneath the stairway to the second floor. It was locked, so with some creative ingenuity, I had it open.

[Editor’s note: Creative ingenuity means VT shot the lock off.]

The instant that door swung open it felt like someone had pressed a branding iron to my back. I ignored the pain and sprinted down the stairs, slamming into a wall as I reached the bottom.

The metallic scent of blood hit me with all the force of a sledgehammer to the nose. Corpses. Corpses everywhere. All in various stages of decomposition. I recognized Husband and Wife, not by their clothes, or faces...but by their hair. Wife’s golden mane of unruly curls and Husband’s stupid little manbun. (Why don’t they just call them buns for fuck’s sake?)

Every corpse in here wore the same robes, bore the same jewelry. I recognized the design. They worshiped Death. Not Elinor’s Death, the supposedly nice lady with the kid. They worshipped violent Death.

They worshiped murder.

I fought valiantly to keep my dinner in as I saw what they’d had on the altar in the center of the room. I lost.

I couldn’t bring myself to unwrap the bundle that had no less than thirteen or fourteen daggers sticking out of it. The amount of blood on the altar told me, if the daggers didn’t, that they’d finished their sick little ceremony.

Baby was the sacrifice.

Human sacrifice has been a thing since the dawn of time. So has child sacrifice. It’s become taboo in the SC, due to the fact that pure innocence is a force so powerful that it often rages out of control.

Doesn’t stop a few fuckwits from using it and dying for their trouble. I felt no sympathy, in fact I’d dearly hoped their deaths were slow.

“Do you want to kill them?” a voice, so sweet in my ear, practically lulled me straight to sleep. “See them suffer? I can make that happen. I can make every sick fuck out there pay for the wrongs they do.” it was my voice I was hearing. “We can slaughter them all. Val, we can -- “ That snapped me out of my daze. “Only my mother calls me Val.” I said, squeezing Peace’s grip. “And I hate that bitch.”

I turned and saw who’d been whispering. It was a mirror image of myself, albeit a perverted one. My features were too fine, too distinct. It was like someone took my face and stretched it over my bones. It smiled in a way that if I ever say that expression on my own face, I’d lay down on some train tracks and wait.

“What? You don’t want to make them suffer? They killed an infant, and for what? Power? To summon something they shouldn’t? C’mon, VT, we both know better.” the mirror me scoffed and threw up her hands. “You do this job because you like the blood.”

“Not really.” I said, conversationally. I knew what this was, this was what they’d summoned. After killing it’s summoners it still wanted more. There was only one way to deal with something as malevolent as this. Deprive it of power. “I do this job because it pays the bills and I was born into it. Plus, I just so happen to be very good at what I do.”

“Murdering living things? Banishing non-living things?” it asked, grinning.

“No. Dealing with trash like you that only exists to hurt others.” I smiled right back. “So, I suppose you could call me a glorified garbage woman.”

That pissed it off. It’s face warped into an unholy mask of fury and it lunged. When a demon takes on a form, it’s trapped with that form’s physical ability. The demon was just as strong as I was, with none of the training. Meaning it’d be dangerous, but manageable.

It grabbed onto me and we both tumbled to the floor. Peace skittered away from my grip as the demon slammed it’s fists into my face. I felt my nose break and my lip split beneath the melee onslaught. It seemed to notice the gun and lunged off of me to make a wild grab.

I took my chance. The instant it’s weight left me, I made a wild grab for it’s hair and yanked. It screeched it’s rage and continued to paw for the gun as I mounted it’s shoulders and slammed it’s face into the concrete floor again and again and again. I couldn’t kill it, not with my bare hands. The more effort I wasted on the demon, the stronger it’d get. I shoved to my feet and aimed a hard kick to it’s ribs, leaning down to grab my gun. The demon was already on it’s feet, thick, black blood oozing across my distorted features. “Yes...yes...fight. Struggle. Feed me.”

“Nah.” I said, wiping my bloody, broken nose on my sleeve. “It’s garbage day, bitch.” I pointed Peace dead at the demon’s head and fired. My ears rung with Peace’s gunfire scream. The demon’s head was decimated and it’s true form started oozing out. A thick, gray mist that hung in the air and screamed. I couldn’t very well shoot that.

A demon can’t be killed. Some make physical forms for themselves, examples being incubi or succubi. Some take on forms of those they find aesthetically pleasing. Some take on the forms of their victims...but when the body dies, their true self escapes. The dingier looking the cloud, the more evil the demon.

And this bitch looked like pollution.

I made for the stairs, determined not to let the demon try and slide it’s way into me. Possession is tricky enough to deal with, I didn’t want to cause another PE more trouble than they already had.

The second I topped the stairs I realized I’d made a mistake. Someone was already waiting.

And she was the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen. Her skin was olive in coloring and flawless. Her hair hung about her like a veil made of pure shadow. Her eyes glowed an unearthly green, devoid of pupil. I barely even noticed that she was wearing a billowing robe that seemed to want to suck me in.

“Run.” I panted, trying to push past her to no avail. “Demon. Very angry demon.”

She smiled, softly and nodded “I know. Please, stand aside, VT.”

VT? She knew my name?

She brushed by me, leaving my skin like ice. I couldn’t move, speak or think. I don’t know how long I was standing there, staring into space. A horrifying screech pulled me from my hypnotic trance and sent me barreling down the stairs. The demon was trying to cling to the pipes that ran along the ceiling of the basement.

The woman was inhaling it. “Stop!” I shouted, grabbing her shoulder “It’s going to kill you!” she paid no attention, continuing her upsettingly long inhale. “Stop!” I shook her, but too late. The last of the demon had just vanished past her full, stupidly kissable lips.

Fuck.

She coughed, swallowed and smacked her lips. “Unpleasant.” she said, rubbing her throat. “But slightly tangy.” she smiled and looked to me. “You’re covered in blood, will you be alright?”

I wiped the blood from my face and nodded. “Yeah, nothing serious. What...are you?”

The woman laughed and I felt my stomach drop. “Oh, silly, little girl...you know already, don’t you?”

That’s the first time in my life that being called a silly, little girl was a turn on. “No.” I whispered, softly. “I have no fucking idea.”

She laughed again and approached the bundle. One by one she pulled the daggers free. I take no shame in saying that I looked away. I just wanted to go home, at this point. When I was finally able to look back at the woman she held a baby in her arms. No. Not a baby. The Baby.

The bundle was still slack and bloody on the alter, but Baby was sleeping peacefully in this woman’s arms. Either I’d gone crazy or -- “Its her soul.” the woman said, conversationally. “It had been locked up in here as bait for the demon.” she caressed the infant’s cheek with a finger.

“No!” Husband’s voice sounded off like a gunshot. “No, you can’t do this to us! We command you.”

The room was packed. The robed figures were all standing atop their corpses, slowly approaching the woman still toying with the sleeping infant. Wife spoke next “She was our ticket to immortality! To godhood! You can’t stop us! We own you, now!” they weren’t paying any attention to me...and the woman wasn’t paying any attention to them.

A voice I didn’t recognize rang out “Kneel before your masters!”

That brought the woman from her trance. She didn’t look angry, only mildly annoyed. “Kneel? Own? Command?” she asked, frowning. “No one commands me, fools. I cannot be contained. I am not some dog on a leash.” she snapped her fingers and the spirits all dissipated with a clarion scream. “This is tiring.” she said, shaking her head. “It’s my granddaughters’ birthday party today, can I not get one hour’s peace?”

“Who are you?” I asked, taking a step forward. “What are you?”

The annoyance fled her face and she smiled, sweetly. “I said you already know.”

The entire world dropped from beneath my feet. Primal fear exploded through my being as every atom of my being screamed at me to run. Run and never look back. “Death.”, I whispered, causing the woman to laugh. “Elinor’s Death.”

“I am everyone’s Death, child...but you may call me Isali.” she smiled. It was a smile only a mother could possess. “My...husband gave me that name. Isn’t it so strange. You exist for so very long by one name...and someone gives you another. One that you love with all of your being.” her eyes met mine “You know that well, don’t you...VT?”

VT. Ramona had given me that name and I’d latched onto it with all my might. “Yes.” I whispered, nodding slowly. “I do.”

“Do tell dearest Elinor I send my regards.” she said, enveloping Baby in her robes. “Oh, the corpses here have your payment for this job. You may empty their pockets, if you wish. I believe it shall more than cover your expenses.”

“Isn’t that...disrespectful?” I asked, feeling squeamish at the thought of looting corpses.

“Are you implying they are deserving of respect?” Isali asked, an elegant eyebrow raising. That was a fair point. I immediately started to rifle though the corpse’s belongings. She watched me, carefully as I did. “I must go. My granddaughters will be ever so upset if Grammy isn’t in attendance. VT, we will meet again.”

“Wait.” I said, pushing to my feet, still waring with that primal desire to bolt. “Elinor...Elinor said you have a son? How?”

She laughed, brightly and shook her head. “Love, child. Love.” she looked thoughtful for a moment then turned her back to me. “Come with me.” she took a step forward...and I followed.

The world went topsy-turvy, and my brain felt like a block of ice in my skull. When my feet stopped moving I was at Ramona’s bedside. Alone. I didn’t know how much time had passed, or if any had passed...but Death -- Isali, she knew what I wanted more than anything in the world at that moment. And gave it to me.

I pulled back the sheets to Ramona’s bed and crawled in next to her, snuggling up to her back and trembling. Even in her sleep, Ramona’s a caregiver. She rolled and threw an arm over me, squeezing me close. Come morning, she raised hell for my staining her sheets with my blood. Isali was never mentioned.

Case closed

#tw: blood #tw: gore #tw: death #tw: infant death #tw: guns #tw: gun violence #VTverse #OC #writing #horror

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etraytin · 4 years ago

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Quarantine, Day 154

August 12

LOL my computer won't show me my pin login screen unless I press the soft boot keys first, that's not a bad sign, is it?

Anyway, another day of entirely kittens! Three hour feeds means breakfast starts at 6am, bright and early! Second breakfast rolls out around 9, just in time for a nice lunch at noon. Second lunch is at 3pm, followed by early bird dinner at six. Fashionably late dinner (attended by all the same diners, of course) is at 9pm, then we all have a midnight snack that is in fact a full meal. A 3am top-up finishes the day's menu, and everybody gets one more nap before breakfast. Whew! In the middle of this, the weanlings also get fed on their own, slightly less rigid schedule consisting of "We have finished the food, human! What the hell are you playing at?"

The good news is that eight daily feedings are paying off in terms of baby weight gain. All of the teenies are up by at least 20g over yesterday, which is an excellent daily gain equivalent to the weight of about four US quarters. Given that they were very underweight to start with, rapid gain and good suckling are very encouraging signs. Orphan kittens always have a tough row to hoe and things could go wrong, but it's a great start. They also have names nowI I ran the two sets of names by the coordinator and she okayed the Harper Hall set, woo-hoo! Without further ado (or photo editing to make these pics smaller because I am exhausted), meet the Harpers!

First off is Menolly, of course. She is white and black with a mostly white body and a white blaze on her face (her first given name for my notebook was "Stripe"). Menolly is the smallest of the kittens by just a few grams and earned her name by being the loudest and most energetic yeller by an order of magnitude. She always gets fed first, because she is apparently always STARVING. Menolly was also the first kitten to escape her bin; I found her snuggled up next to Audiva this morning and had to put binder clips on the towel cover.

Next is Audiva, the other female, and much less obvious of a naming choice. If she'd been bigger or louder she might have been Silvinia, but she's pretty laid back and mostly enjoys snuggling in with her stuffed puppy fake mama and sleeping on her back. (She was "Dot" to start with, because she has one black spot on her back and the white stripe on her face wraps around her ear to make the black spot a round dot.)

Sebell has facial markings that are not dissimilar from Menolly's, but where her body is mostly white, his is tuxie black. (He was "Blaze" to start with becausse of the white blaze up his face and chest.) Sebell just about gave me a goddamned heart attack this afternoon by not only slipping out of his bin but leaving the bins entirely and going a few feet away to a place where I could easily have stepped on him. I like to think I would've noticed him before I did, but luckily the kiddo was with me and quickly pointed out the wanderer. Yikes! There is such a thing as living up too much to your name, journeyman.

The final kitten is Robinton, the biggest and most distinguished of the kittens thanks to his handsome white mustache! (He was "Stashy" in the book for obvious reasons.) Robinton is possibly the most businesslike kitten I have ever encountered. When I pick him up he pees and usually poos as well, lets himself be wiped up, then latches onto the bottle like it's going out of style. He's gained 30g already and has a handsome portly tummy to go with his handsome face.

The little kittens did well today, but Zuko lost some weight and I'm not sure why. I'm hoping the tick we pulled off him isn't making him sick a few days later. I penned him up with some food to make sure he'd get enough, but all he did was cry, so I pulled him out, snuggled him, and then syringe fed him meat mush through a luer lock with no tip in it. It was messy work, but he ate some! I'm going to keep on keeping an eye on him, but he's certainly been very active. The others are all gaining well and eating well. The kiddo has been spending a lot of time taking Aang into his room and playing with him whenever I say he can. It's probably just as well if these kittens depart this weekend; we cannot get another cat if we want to keep fostering and I don't want him to get his little heart broken when it's time to say goodbye.

In non-heartbreaking news, I proved my Minecraft chops and general motherly acumen today when I fixed the kiddo's bugged game by successfully typing /gamemode creative into the text window in the very few seconds between respawn and death after the kiddo accidentally redrew the borders of the world to exclude the place where he was. He'd been getting a little wound up worrying about it but all's well that ends well, and I showed him how to back up his game to prevent future disasters from being ruinous. It's funny because I remember back when he was maybe two or three years old and my motion sickness wasn't so acute, he'd like to sit on the arm of my recliner and watch me play Minecraft. It was fun, but it added difficulty because he unconditionally refused to let me kill the cute animals for food or materials. Suffice it to say he has gotten over that qualm and is now a first rate hunter and farmer.

The only other real thing of note today was our trip to the thrift store. The thrift store was closed for many months during the pandemic, and we've only been back a couple times since they opened despite it being one of my favorite places. Today's trip was ostensibly for the purpose of acquiring suitable fake mama animals for when the teenies inevitably pee or poop on the ones they have, but we found many other goodies as well. They put all their pet, garden and summer stuff on half price sale, so I got a Topsy Turvy planter for a buck, a couple of blue ice cooler packs for less than a dollar each, and a really startlingly nice crate-style cage for small animals for just three dollars. I am betting it was probably 40 at the store and it looked new, so I'm very pleased. We're always looking for crates for transfering kittens or friendly ferals without taking up our scarce box traps! I also got six or seven appropriately sized stuffed animals for the non-hypothetical kittens.

The kiddo got into a bin of 50 cent electronics toys with no batteries, sold take-your-chances style, and got a little ray gun, two Perry the Platypus walkie-talkies, and a bluetooth speaker. Everything but the gun worked, so it was a heck of a good deal even though he did wind up getting his finger stuck in the ray gun while disassembling it and needing a good spritz of cooking spray to release him. My best find was probably the nonstick Pampered Chef two-handled skillet in great shape for five bucks. I couldn't find the exact pan online because it's probably older, but I don't think PC sells any pans for less than like 100 bucks, so I was quite pleased. It's a great size for omelettes, stir fry, eggs, whatever. Every time I move, I have to go through and get rid of most of my pans, and every time I settle down again, I rebuild my collection. It's the circle of life!

#quarantine #kittens #harper hall #pern #minecraft #pampered chef #my tags are getting practically instagrammy lately #but i have noticed that if I don't make tags of what i talk about #tumblr can never find it again

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popculturebuffet · 4 years ago

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Jake Reviews Stuff: Close Enough: Logans Run’d and Room Parents

IT’S FINALLY HERE, PERFORMING FOR YOU. Seriously I have waited 3 years for this. And while yes thanks to a combination of a french animation festival and HBO’s own oopsie doodle I was able to watch 3 episodes already, and review them, it dosen’t make this any less sweet. The fandom can finally come togehter as a whole and enjoy the hell out of the series. And doubling my excitment is the fact that HBO Max dropped 15 episodes! 14 episodes bundled into half hours and one extra long episode that seems to feature one of the greatest musicans and comedians of all-time, a man who needs no introduction but hell if i’m not giving him one. WEIRD, AL, YANKOVIC!

I could not be more excited if I tried. And yes that’s with full awarness my pre-amphibia and owl house workload just became at LEAST 4 times what I expected and this may be all there is. Having to review 12 episodes still means getting to WATCH 12 episodes of a show I truly adore. It’s an easy trade off. So with that out of the way, we can dig into close enough’s second two episodes and see if the show can keep the momentum from the first pair! Door’s open, let’s do this! The full review and spoilers under the cut.

Logans Run’d With Candace having her first sleepover Josh and Emily (Who apparently aren’t on good enough terms with their parents to have them watch her something I hope they explore later in the series), have their first Candace free evening and spend it as you’d expect for a 35 year old couple: Pelvic thrusting to turn down to what while doing general errrands then planning to have a nice night in of tea and the great british baking show, which continues this show’s hard to get used to trend of using actual brand names. The two invite Bridgette to join them which she scoffs at saying the pair, and Alex who is not only delighted to join them but is in an old timey sleeping costume with listening horn which, no joke, is his profile picture on the show’s website, which feels perfect honestly and I love everything about that.

The three soon realize to their horror through flashback that they indeed are old (Hilariously alex’s is literally just his introduction in this episode), and beg Bridgette to take them along to a club, Logan’s Run’d. What follows is the three of them getting hard core drunk all the way to 9PM while Bridgette flirts with a younger guy and youtube sensation and who looks like the earth 3 version of hank venture.. until it turns out he’s actually a toddler wearing some sort of robot suit because of course. Things go south however both as our heroes realize their running out of steam.. and as another 30 something is made VIP>.. which in this club is being murdered to death by a giant fan. With blood which I”m sure JG was giddy to do first chance it was approriate given he did 8 years of a show on a children’s network and children’s networks hate blood as much as they hate actually letting shows mention the concept of death directly by name. Naturally the four of them want to book it out of there: While Bridgette , if she wasn’t lying about her age to the toddler, isn’t in the danger zone, she still just hit on a toddler and is naturally afraid of going to prison, but get stopped by the bar guy. Alex, in a supremeley sad yet badass moment, pulls out his blockbuster card and prepares to sacrifice himself for his friend’s sake: Partly because he cares about them and candace and partly because he’s worried he has nothing left to live for now he’s old, something I myself worry about going into my 30′s next year. Josh (Emily takes a second to join in) rushes to save his best bud and the two reassure Alex he has a future, a future of not having to get new music, of having nights of just relaxing and watching tv and getting pepper in your beard for , as Alex puts it “That george clooney look” Bridgette was the last one and guards her friends from being murdered for obvious reasons before breaking the fan. Our heroes are saved, alex and me honestly as all of that sounds really appealing to be honest and I live 2/3 of it already, are convinced that growing old is pretty sweet. Oh and the owner turns out to be an old guy, as Alex realizes when he refrences logans run and is murdered by the crowd. Our heroes enjoy pancakes, Bridgette still finds the guy cute which.. no no bridgette just no, and Alex muses about them having seen a man die. Final Thoughts: A decent episode.. while not as good as 100% no stress day ahead of it or the previous episode, i’ts a simple episode with good gags, an utterly great character moment for Alex which shows that despite his weirdo exterior he’s a damn good guy and he has something to live for. Also the toddler subplot was stupid and kinda creepy. A decent gag filled episode withs ome great ones and some really good animation. Also the opening is utterly iconic, easily one of the shows best jokes so far and probably in total and still works despite the use of turn down for what being slightly dated, but it works because it’s just really damn funny. Not the series best thus far but it’s still okay if a standard episode is this enjoyable.

Room Parents: Now this is the good shit. It’s parent meeting time at Candace’s school with Me Daughter Teacher having one last announcment while Josh is about to pass out from having to hold in 3 powerades... dude should’ve gone for gatorade.. it still goes through you it just tastes objectivley better. Anyways me Daughter Teacher locks the room for the announcment because he needs a room parent and things quickly turn to purge as everyone is either fleeing or trying to murder each other to avoid it. While i’m not a parent, I can at leat understand not wanting to give time to do this when your schedule is likely already a hellscape. Josh (Who wonders if they got a purge going, got a good laugh out of me. ), being basically what if Mr. Peanutbutter had an illigitmate son he dind’t know about, and i’m still not convinced he’s not his dad until the show proves otherwise, happily volunteers to Emily’s horror. Josh however.. is entirely game. He even makes a dad joke calling it a “Fun Raiser” to emily’s annoyance. It’s a nice show of just HOW opposite the two are: Emily being more stressed, as 100% stress day proved/will prove given it’s after this episode even though i’ve already seen it but it’s set later but...

The point is she’s a ball of stress while he’s a ball of enthusasim just like his dad, who i’m now just.. 100% convinced is his dad and dosen’t know it. Prove me wrong. Anyways Josh meets Nikki another parent whose own son is ominously framed in shadow because of course something weird about her who offers to pitch in.. and is also transparently intrested in josh. The next day Josh and nikki talk on the phone and Bridgette and Alex instantly pick up that she’s into him and that josh is the kind of guy every girl wants, with Bridgette sighting the look when he inhales mustard and Alex, being the objectivley best, citing his thin papery jack of clubs body type. I’m now 100% convinced they all had a foursome at some point before the divorce which Emily tries not to think about and Emily isn’t convinced.. until Josh, in another great gag, says Nikki said “wash your balls, so random”. Emily, now panicked, enlists Pearle who gladly volunteers her spy van, because Pearle is also objectivity the best, to go spy on alex in a montage set to heart’s crazy on you were we get our image for this episode which is a great gag.. especailly Emily mouthing “Wait afterwords’ and it being followed by them going to the sex hotel.. which is actually the essex hotel.. which is for affairs as it’s sign says. It’s hard not to just list gags for this show because it’s damn good but i’ll try. Emily then confronts Josh that night (doing the dramatic light turning on thing by holding the lamp another great gag), and Josh explains no he’s not cheating on her because he’s a pure boy, and he aquises to her, also finally realizing Nikki’s been transparently trying to seduce him. Naturally their attempt to uncoroomparenther before the Fundraiser goes pear shaped as it turns out Nikki is a con artist who pulls what professionals call a josh , scam a stressed parent, tie him up or kill him and then steal the fundraiser money for a school, for a living (She has another one cooking at the moment) and leaves them. Emily orders a knife via a delivery service, while a waiting Pearle wonders where they are.. which raises a lot of questions. WHy pearle is there is easy, she’s supporting Candace and her friends/tennants. That part is easy. Why she brought Randy, who at least at this point is objectively useless and why Alex and BRidgette AREN’T there I can’t explain. Maybe mecha pope garfield rose from the grave. Maybe Bridgette’s fucking that clown again. Maybe Alex has more garifled theroies to bust out. Actually those last two answer my question for me.. I mean someome’s gotta reveal Garfield was a founding member of the Justice Society of America.

Our heroes arrive however to Foil Nikki , who thent ries to escape on a children’s train.. which being a children’s train Josh and Emily just hop on and in a hilarious bit slowly remove the kids before ending up with Candace, who says “daddy’s girlfriend is getting away”. Jessica DiCiccio is a delight as Candace and her delivery is impecable here. However Nikki switches tracks and cranks up the speed. Thankfully while Emily and Candace fall off the train pearle and Randy, who I STILL don’t know why he’s in this episode he has no lines and does nothing, catch them, leaving it to Josh to fix his mess. After a breif fight and a nut shot Josh sucesfully swaps the money for Nikki’s fake son/dummy who she chokes bart style before both explodes when they hit a thermometor factory. Our heroes win, the fundraiser is a sucess and the teachers have elected Josh room parent for life (”That can’t be legally binding” “IT’S LEGALLY BINDING!”) Final Thoughts: A great , really damn funny episode with a great premise. While Emily being worried Josh would cheat seems weird given he’s a nice enough guy, it’s sometimes understandable to be panicky about that sort of thing and her worry is warnated given one party is trying to seduce her husband, josh is just too stupid to realize, which makes for a lot of great gags. It’s a really tighly done episode that like the above is more pure comedy and just hilarious, but has even better jokes and a much better executed premise to work with. And no weird toddler things. So overally a slam dunk. I have more close enough reviews coming today, obviously though i’d rather watch the rest before reviewing them, but while I do you can shoot me an ask to talk more close enough, and in more serious matters... One of my best friend’s cat’s cancer has come back and being out of work and just having moved into a new appartment, he needs help paying for it. You can find the go fund me here. And as always until we meet again, later days.

#close enough #josh ramierz #emily ramierz #alex #bridgette #candace ramierz #pearle #randy #jg quinte #calvin wong #hbo max #close enough spoilers

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owlways-and-forever · 5 years ago

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Summary: Lily Evans thought her life would be normal. Well, as normal as it can be for a muggle-born witch in England. But when her boyfriend turns out to be the prince of the wizarding world, and tensions begin to rise among factions of wizarding society, Lily must find her way in situations she never anticipated, and try not to lose sight of her identity. Word Count: 4,241 (32,215) Links: ao3 | FFnet | Tumblr: Ch 1, Ch 2, Ch 3, Ch 4, Ch 5, Ch 6, Ch 7

A/N: Hello friends! Happy September, and I hope you're all cozied up on the Hogwarts Express with some chocolate frogs and good company. Or failing that, I hope you're snuggled up on the couch watching a Harry Potter marathon (like me). I know it's been a while since I've posted, if you've followed me for a while, you know I'm not very good at sticking to a posting schedule. But I have a new chapter now and I'm excited to keep working on this story! So without further ado, here's the next chapter, and I hope you enjoy it!

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Chapter 8

About a week after graduation, Lily, Mary, Alice and Fabian received four identical scrolls of parchment from a brown barn owl. They were held together with loops of white ribbon, and Lily could sense some kind of magic running through it, probably to prevent anyone but the addressee from opening the letter. Lily slipped her finger under the ribbon and snapped it off, unfurling the loop of parchment.

Miss Evans,

I would like to invite you to join an organization that I am developing in order to fight Voldemort and his followers. At the moment, its existence is covert, so silence on the matter is paramount. If you are interested, please attend an explanatory meeting on Tuesday night at 9pm at the address below.

12 Victoria Rd

Southend-on-Sea

I hope to see you there.

Albus Dumbledore

Lily let out a long breath. This was what she’d been waiting for - some way to fight against what was happening. Obviously her roommates had all received an invitation, but Lily wondered who else was a part of the squad. Mostly, she wondered if James would have gotten a similar scroll. Surely Dumbledore would know all about the constraints that his position placed on him, and yet Lily knew without a doubt that James wanted to fight, and he would be one hell of an ally.

A knock sounded on Lily’s bedroom door, and she looked up to find Mary peering through a small gap.

“Come on in,” Lily invited, and Mary smiled as she pushed the door fully open and crossed the room to join Lily on the bed.

“So did you get one of these letters too?” Mary asked, though she could see the parchment unfurled across Lily’s duvet.

“Yeah.”

“Are you gonna do it?” Mary inquired.

“I think so,” Lily said, her brows furrowing slightly as she considered the question. “I don’t think I can just stand by and do nothing in all of this. I need to be useful.”

Mary said nothing, her blue eyes fixed on an arbitrary spot on the wall.

“What are you going to do?” Lily asked.

“I don’t know,” Mary admitted, worrying her lower lip as she tried to avoid meeting Lily’s eyes.

“It’s okay if you’re scared,” Lily assured her, leaning forward and resting one hand on her friend’s knee. “And I promise that no one will think any less of you if you decide not to do this. But you should know that you won’t be any safer because of it. You’ll still be muggleborn, Mary, just like me, and they’ll still hate us.”

“I know,” Mary said, nodding slightly. “But it’s not just me, is it? If I stay out of it, they might hate me, they might come after me, but my family will be fine, especially if I keep my distance from them. I’m not important, I’m not visible, they would have no reason to try to hurt them to get to me. But if I fight… if they went after my family… Colin has his first girlfriend, and Iain is only eight. And little Isabel has only barely started school. They should all have lives ahead of them, and I can’t put them in danger!”

Mary seemed more agitated than Lily had ever seen her, and admittedly she found it somewhat difficult to identify with her feelings. Of course she had family too, but Petunia was older than her and capable of taking care of herself and her parents… well, her parents would want her to fight at any cost.

“I… I’m sorry, Mary, I didn’t realize this was so difficult for you,” Lily said, a little more bitingly than she intended. “But I’m sure you’ll make the right decision in the end.”

“You mean you’re sure I’ll choose to join up and fight in the end,” Mary snapped, standing up and pushing away from the bed.

“No!” Lily gasped. “No, that’s not what I meant at all. I just meant that I’m sure you’ll figure out what the right thing for you is.” Lily struggled for a moment with her own feelings, trying to set them aside to understand her friend better. “I think… I think you should reflect on what you need to do the most, and what you’ll regret most down the road. There are so many what-ifs, Mary… what if you fight and your family gets hurt, what if you don’t fight and they get hurt anyway, what if you don’t fight and we lose the war… you have to think about it all, Mary, and decide what path you can live with, what path won’t make you hate yourself ten years from now. And whatever decision you make, I promise we’ll all be okay with it. I… I can’t promise that it’ll be easy for us, but we’ll still love you.”

“I don’t really know what to do,” Mary sighed, sitting back down on the bed and flopping back onto the comforter with a deep sigh.

“I know, but you’ll figure it out,” Lily said assuredly, laying back next to her friend.

“Thanks.”

They lay together, lost in their own thoughts, for a little while, before Mary sat up and smiled softly.

“I’ve got to go, Fabian and I are grabbing dinner with Gideon,” she said.

“Okay, have fun,” Lily replied, grinning knowingly. “See you later.”

Mary left and closed the door behind her, and Lily shut her eyes, tempted to just go to sleep then, even though it was shamefully early. But her stomach was growling, and reminding her that it had been far too long since she’d had a full meal. As Lily was contemplating what to order for dinner, she heard the door to the apartment slam, and she wonder what could have made the usually reserved Alice so upset.

“Lily!” James shouted through the apartment. It wasn’t Alice who was agitated then. “Lily, you home?”

“Shh, the neighbors are going to hate you if you keep that up,” Lily hissed, opening the door to her bedroom.

James practically, sprinted to join her, flopping dramatically onto her bed and offering her one of his patented charming smiles.

“So, you’ll never guess -”

“Dumbledore sent you an invitation to join a secret society to fight Voldemort?” Lily interrupted, amused.

“I… yeah… how’d you…?” James stammered.

“All four of us got one too,” Lily explained, chuckling lightly at James’ sullen expression. “You gonna do it?”

“Hell yeah!” he exclaimed, his face lighting up at the thought.

“James,” Lily scoffed, “I don’t mean to be a Debbie Downer, but how exactly are you going to do that? You’re the one that’s been telling me that we can’t get involved in this.”

“I know I have, but Lils, it’s a secret organization, so it’s perfect!” he insisted.

“I feel like you’re banking on that a little too much,” she replied.

“Are you trying to tell me not to do it?” James asked, sounding betrayed. “Because I thought we were on the same page about this.”

“No!” Lily amended. “I want you to do this, I want to do this. But I just don’t think you’ve fully thought through whether or not you can do it. This is the hardest part about who you are, not being able to do what you want to do, you’ve told me that.”

“I know, I know,” he said, shaking his head. “I know I haven’t really thought it through, but I’ll figure it out, because Lils, I just know that I could never live with myself if I passed this opportunity up. This is one of those times when there is a right and a wrong and it’s clear, and if you’re not fighting for good, then you’re wrong.”

Mary’s words from earlier and her uncertainty haunted Lily as she listened to her boyfriend speak. Two hours ago, she felt the same way, and thought of this war in terms of black and white, but now there were shades of grey starting to appear.

“I’m not sure it’s that easy,” she whispered, more to herself than to James.

But whether it was easy or not, Lily and James both knew what they wanted to do, without any doubts or hesitations. There was only one path for them, nothing else would do.

o . o . o

As darkness gathered on Tuesday night, Lily sat in her apartment, carefully applying concealment charms to James and herself. She knew they were going to a muggle neighborhood, that was part of the appeal of the location, but it was still imperative that nobody recognize them. She had changed the color of her hair to a dark brown, and her eyes to brown as well. With a simple charm, she had been able to plump her cheeks a bit and make her face a bit rounder. With a dark cloak over her clothes, she felt pretty confident in her disguise, but James was more of a challenge. He was so well known, and now that people were clued in to his ‘alter ego’, it was harder for him to go unnoticed. It was like the whole world was looking for him more than they ever had before. Tweaking his hair color wouldn’t be enough, so Lily had spent time over the weekend researching glamour spells and concealment charms to keep him safe. She had settled on one that would play on the mind of the beholder, showing them someone they would most like to avoid. It was more or less a misdirection trick, one that could be overcome with effort, but it seemed like their best options. Their friends would be able to, with some concentration, break the spell and see James as he was, but passersby would be none the wiser.

As Lily finished her spellwork, she said a silent prayer that it would be good enough. She didn’t think she would be able to live if she was the reason he got hurt. She draped a black cloak around his shoulders as well, an added layer of protection from prying eyes, and took a deep breath. There wasn’t anything else to do but jump and see where this adventure would take them.

Fabian and Alice both joined them in the living room, ready to depart. Mary had stayed late at the hospital, and said she would meet them there if she decided to be a part of this. The four new graduates stepped out of the apartment and into the dark, dinghy street. Night had decidedly fallen, leaving London blanketed in a deep, velvety darkness. They walked two block north and one west, until they reached the alley that they always used to apparate. Fabian had set up a portkey using a tattered shirt, and as the four stood at the back of the alley, they each took hold of a piece of it. Lily clutched tight to the fabric, her fingers rubbing against the flannel. They waited for what seemed like ages until the garment began to emit a blue glow. Lily felt like she was being yanked forward by the belly button and squeezing her through a sausage stuffer. Just when she thought it would never end, the smell of salt water filled her senses and her feet slammed into the pavement. Her knees ached from the force of the impact, and she had to steady herself with a hand on the pavement for a moment before she could stand.

“Alright, I think we’re just a few blocks away if I did this right,” Fabian said, looking around and trying to make sense of their surroundings.

Stars speckled the dark sky so far from the city, but it did little to light the streets. There were no street signs or lit windows, just the sound of waves crashing against rocks a few blocks away. With their cloaks drawn close around them, they were indistinguishable from the night sky, walking towards their destination. The house they found at the address in question was small, with lavender walls and buttercream yellow shutters. Flowerboxes hung from all the window sills with brightly colored impatients blooming wildly. In short, it had Dumbledore written all over it.

James stepped forward and knocked on the door, and without hesitation it swung open. The foursome stepped into the foyer and immediately found a group of adults of varying ages sitting uncomfortably in the spacious sitting room. It was evident that an enlargement charm had been cast in the inside of the house.

Around the room sat a few people they knew from school - Gideon, Frank Longbottom, Edgar Bones, all of their friends - and a few older individuals. Lily recognized Caradoc Dearborn and Alastor Moody, but there were several others who she didn’t know. A few more people filtered into the small house, including Mary, until finally it Dumbledore stood.

“Let’s begin,” he announced, casting his penetrating gaze around the room. “I believe it is customary to have introductory icebreakers at gatherings such as these, however there is some protection in anonymity. I will leave it up to you to get to know each other to the extent that you are comfortable.”

His eyes fixed on James for a moment before fleeting around the rest of the group. Lily knew that this rule was largely for James’ benefit, regardless of what Dumbledore said. The fewer people that knew that James fighting in the war covertly, the more likely it was that he’d be able to keep that information secret.

“You are all here,” Dumbledore continued, “because the changes that have been taking hold of the wizarding world distress you all equally, because you think that it is morally reprehensible to consider one person superior to another solely because of their ancestry, and because you all want to fight to see the world restored to the light. It is not enough to stand by and hope that others will do the work for you, we all must roll up our sleeves and plunge our hands straight into this bubbling cauldron.”

Apprehensive looks passed around the room, mixed with curiosity and determination. Lily felt a little bit nervous, but mostly she just felt ready to begin the fight.

“I’d like to give you all this opportunity to ask any questions you might have,” Dumbledore continued, opening his arms wide in a welcoming gesture.

“What exactly are we going to be doing?” someone asked from the behind Lily.

“There are a whole manner of things that need to be done, and everyone will have their own role to play,” Dumbledore answered. “We have Ministry employees, healers, aurors, teachers… each as important as the last. There are a number of ways in which we will have to combat our opponent. First, we will need as much intelligence as possible. It is important to know where Lord Voldemort plans to strike and when, as well as who fights for him, and where he is most vulnerable. There will be those of you who will work to make the public aware of all that is happening, and protect them from Voldemort’s influence. And then there will of course be those who are on the front lines, dueling against the Death Eaters to save lives. It will not, at any point, be easy. But it will always be necessary.”

Everyone in the room looked curiously at Dumbledore, his words clearly not giving them a much better picture of what this war would look like for them.

“I have some intelligence,” Dumbledore sighed, “that Voldemort’s followers are planning an attack in two days’ time. I have chosen six of you to attempt to thwart this endeavor.”

“Which six?” somebody asked.

“Where are they attacking?” another attendee burst out.

“Who goes on each mission will never be divulged to anyone who does not strictly need to know,” Dumbledore answered, his blue eyes flashing. “Even I will not know the details of every mission. But I suggest we all pray to whatever god we believe in that as many missions as possible result in victories.”

Lily looked over at her friends. She’d be praying for victories, but she would also be praying for as few casualties as possible.

o . o . o

James slunk through the London shadows, his invisibility cloak wrapped tightly around him. He’d had a fairly lengthy conversation with Dumbledore and McGonagall the night after the Order’s information session, and they had settled on a role for him that they thought would be suitable for his skills and his restrictions. James would, in effect, be the sniper of the Order. He would stay low, out of sight, hidden, and try to covertly disarm Death Eaters before attacks even began.

Part of him hated it. He was a good dueler, and he wanted to be in the thick of every battle. He wanted Death Eaters to see his face before the fell, and know who brought them down. But James knew that he could only continue to be involved for as long as his involvement remained secret. He also knew that, despite her assurances that she wanted him to fight, Lily would be out of her mind with worry if he were constantly dueling. He didn’t ever want her to be afraid that he wouldn’t come home. So this was good, a good compromise.

He was headed toward a muggle hospital, where the Death Eaters were supposedly planning an attack that would mimic a gas explosion. Emmeline and Alice were trying to surreptitiously evacuate as many patients as possible, while Gideon and Dedalus Diggle tried to shore up the hospital’s defenses. That left James with Alastor Moody, keeping watch over the entrances and initiating the fight should one arrive.

The light rain that was falling tapped quietly against against the cobblestones of the street, a soft sort of ambiance. James watched the street carefully from his perch two stories above, nestled in a window with the best vantage point. He was looking for anything out of the ordinary - shadows that didn’t belong or a tiny bit of movement in his peripheral vision. Moody lay in wait below, a one-man barrier between the Death Eaters and the hospital entrance.

Just when James was starting to think that their information had been faulty, a dense fog began to filter through the street below, thick tendrils of it snaking into every nook and cranny. Shit, James thought to himself. How was he supposed to see anything now? He was debating whether or not to leave his post when he heard what sounded like a tin rubbish bin lid hitting the stones and a cat screeching loudly. He didn’t know what that meant, but it decided matters for him. There was no way he was going to hide up in this building while Merlin knows what was going on down below. Besides, he still had the invisibility cloak, he would be fine.

James bolted down the stairs and into the foyer of the building, stopping short of the door. Pulling the invisibility cloak around his shoulders, he peered through the window of the door before opening it as little as possible and slipping through. He stayed nestled in the doorway, watching for some sign of the Death Eaters. There, floating through the fog were three darker shadows. James tightened his grip on his wand, carefully taking aim.

“Stupefy,” he whispered, and a jet of red light streamed from his wand.

But the fog appeared to be more than just a visual distraction, it seemed to have some property that slowed down spells and eroded them as they traveled. He would never be able to do anything from his position. But he worried that the fog, whatever it was, would eat at the cloak’s magic too. If it was everything his father had told him, though, it would hold up against anything.

James stepped out cautiously, keeping his wand raised in front of him. He could feel the air thicken as he pushed through the fog, trying to make his way to the Death Eaters that were still moving forward. And yet, he felt as though the fog had reached fingers into his mind, clouding his thoughts and making him feel dim-witted. What the hell kind of fog is this? The closer he crept to the Death Eaters, the more clear the outlines became, but the more dense his mind felt.

Impedimenta, James thought, directing his wand towards the Death Eaters and what he hoped was the fog’s core. It began to lift slightly, and even though it wasn’t completely gone, it was enough for James’ mind to clear and for him to see the three Death Eaters, and Moody standing boldly in front of them. He heard the Death Eaters snarl wildly, but before any of them could get off a curse, Moody had sent one aimed at the Death Eater in the middle. James sent his own stunning spell at the Death Eater on his right, hitting him in one attempt, and the man crumpled to the ground. The final Death Eater standing whirled around, searching for James while trying to evade Moody. A feeling of victory washed over James, as the Death Eater turned to disapparate. In the split second before he disappeared, however, he hurled an object toward the hospital door. Flames exploded and climbed the stone facade of the building rapidly, eating through walls and floors and and expanding by the second.

“Fiendfyre!” Moody yelled over the roar of the flames, just as a hippogriff formed out of them, spiralling into the air and then plunging through a hospital window several stories higher. “You know the spell?”

“Yeah!” James confirmed, directing his wand toward the flaming hospital. “Ignis vivens praefoco! Ignis vivens praefoco!”

He kept chanting the spell, focusing his mind on the hospital and imagining it unburnt. Two sharp cracks told him that Gideon and Dedalus had apparated to their sides, and their voices joined his and Moody’s in casting the spell. Minutes later, the heat from the blaze began to dissipate, and not long after that, the fire disappeared into plumes of smoke. They held the spell for a few moments longer to ensure that every last spark had been snuffed out.

James opened his eyes, looking at the remains of the hospital standing in front of him. Entire chunks of it had been consumed, crumbled and charred stone left behind. They could see into the hospital, see the damage that had been wreaked on the old building. James hoped that Emmeline and Alice had been fast enough in evacuating the patrons.

“We can’t leave it like this,” James protested, as Moody began to turn away.

“That spell is draining, and Merlin knows what that blasted fog did to us,” Moody argued. “We need to get back to headquarters, get assessed. Another team will be sent to repair the damage and assess and Statute of Secrecy violations. That’s how it works.”

Even as he spoke, James felt what remained of his energy draining out of his body as if someone had pulled a plug. The adrenaline that had flooded his system was seeping away now, and he could tell he didn’t have much time left before he would collapse from exhaustion.

“Get him home,” Moody commanded to Gideon as James felt himself fading fast. “Lily will take care of him. Meet me back at headquarters.”

Gideon nodded and wrapped his arm around James’ torso, making sure he had a tight grip, before disapparating. The two men reappeared in the hallway outside Lily’s apartment. Gideon started knocking frantically, looking around to make sure nobody was watching him. The door swung open to reveal an annoyed looking Lily, but her expression changed once she saw James. She immediately stepped aside, allowing them into the apartment.

“What happened?” she pressed, helping Gideon get James settled on their couch.

“Just a little overexerted, that’s all,” Gideon replied. “He just needs some rest and he’ll be fine.”

Lily nodded and saw Gideon out, before returning to the couch and taking a seat, lifting James’ head into her lap and running her fingers through his hair.

“Hey Lils,” he murmured, before his eyes drifted shut and he fell into a deep sleep.

#hp #marauders #lily evans #james potter #mary macdonald #alastor moody #Albus Dumbledore #fabian prewett #gideon prewett #order of the phoenix #gen writes #atttr

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terra-writes · 5 years ago

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Blog FAQ

Figured I would set one of these up this time around! If I make any additions or edits to this I’ll make a post letting you guys know!

You’ve said “Terra” is just the name you go by online, so can we know your real name?

Simply put? No. My real name is incredibly unique and I would rather keep my online life and real life as separate as I can since where I live, fic writing is largely frowned upon. Also, I’m probably going to explain this bad, but I was told if I wanted to get published I’d have to delete all my fics or write under a different name so there was no crossover between the two. I choose instead to write my fic under a different name to save myself some trouble later on. To those that have learned my real name, I ask that you please don’t spread it around.

What is your general activity like on this blog?

Well last November I started a job where I work a standard 40 hour week. I’m generally away from home from 11am to about 9pm 5 days a week. I do have a pretty set schedule, so for now I’m always off Mondays and Fridays. This blog isn’t my main one, so the only times I’m online and able to check it, is when I’m at home and on my laptop. So except for the days that I’m off, I’ll likely only ever be online in the evenings. If I go to post a work, I’ll likely always schedule it to post between 12 and 1pm the following day.

What is your timezone?

I live in, and operate out of US Central Time. If you don’t quite know how much to add/subtract, the United states is divided into 4 timezones: Eastern time is one hour ahead of me, Mountain Time is one hour behind, and Pacific Time is 2 hours behind me. I don’t quite know how to calculate it for overseas timezones but if people send in the calculations for their timezone I can always edit them in here.

What is your uploading schedule like?

I can’t really say I have one. Every time I’ve tried to keep to one It hasn’t always worked out for me for some reason or another.

How does your tagging system operate?

I always try to keep the tags as relevant and to the point as possible, since tumblr has a limited amount of tags you can add to a post. Here is a small list of what I will tag:

Characters with a significant relevance/presence to the current plot. I might not tag certain characters if they show up in a work if their plot relevance was minor/they only spoke like once in the entire thing to save space.

The fandom

The type of work (Headcanon, ask game, etc. This might be combined with he above bullet point ex: “mha headcanons”)

if the work is fluff, angst, nsfw. Side note, my nsfw tag for this blog will be the word “sin” so works would be tagged with “mha sin” or “haikyuu sin” and things like that.

If the work is part of a series, I will tag the name of it.

If the work involves any oc’s of mine, I will tag their name like I would any other character.

If I reblog a work from someone else, I will try to include all the tags they used as well as what type of work it is, such as “AU,” “reader insert,” “oc story,” etc. Reblogged works will always contain the tag “other people’s writing”

I will always try to tag trigger warnings/any potential triggering content. However, if I run out of space in the tags, all potentially triggering content will always be listed at the top of the work in bold. And all content of the work will always be below a “read more.” If there is anything you want me to tag/list at the top of my work. Please DM or send in an ask letting me know what content you want me to provide additional warnings for. I will never purposefully not tag a trigger, so if a work I’ve posted is missing a tag, please notify me as soon as you notice it so I can add it!

Writing will always be tagged with “terra writes” while almost every other kind of post will be tagged with “terra says.” This includes asks, announcements, updates, etc. I don’t recommend blacklisting the “terra says” tag, but most of the time other types of posts will be tagged with an additional secondary tag (update time, answered asks, poll time) So if you don’t want to see specific types of posts like polls, I would recommend blacklisting the “poll time” tag instead of the “terra says” tag.

You didn’t tag x trigger in your story/Can you please tag x in stories going forward?

Of course! If I forgot to tag something/tagged something wrong, please notify me! I often use the New X-Kit tag bundle extension and don’t always remember to delete a tag or include one. I’m only human and am prone to making mistakes even when trying to be as diligent as possible! I am also aware that people can have very different triggers, and I’m not always aware of what may or may not be a trigger. So if there’s something you want me to tag, send me an ask! I’ll always tag thins as “cw: <insert trigger>”

Also please don’t ever assume I’m purposefully not tagging a trigger. Sometimes I genuinely miss putting the tag in/didn’t know the story needed it included.

Do you have a tag list?

Not currently! If you’re interested in being added please feel free to send me an ask or IM letting me know if you just wanted to be tagged in stuff involving a certain character, fandom, type of writing (drabble/headcanon), or series or any combination. I’ll keep a list in my drafts of the usernames and what you want to be tagged in. If you ever want to be removed, you’ll have to send me an ask letting me know.

What fandoms are you in?/What fandoms will you write for?

You can find a complete list of fandoms that I will write for here!

However, there are a few other fandoms I’m in that I just don’t feel like writing for. Those include: DC comics (mainly Young Justice), Pokemon, and Attack on Titan. I’m probably forgetting some, so I’ll update this list as I remember them. If you want to know if I’m in a fandom/will write for one, please send me an ask!

Do you write m/m, w/w, nonbinary, different ethnicities, etc?

Yes! If I’m writing a reader-insert story, I always try to keep the reader as gender-neutral and vague as possible unless something is specifically ask of me in the request itself. However to some degree I take liberties with the background of the reader. I will often make up a family situation, living arrangement etc. Again if there is anything specific about the reader you want me to include, please let me know.

In the case of sin, I always default to a female gender/parts since that is what I am most familiar with. If you would like it to be non-specified/male parts/etc. you will need to tell me in the request itself.

Can I get a shout out?

You can! There’s absolutely 0 things wrong with asking for one and don’t let other people make you feel like shit for it. I know it can be hard starting a blog and getting your name out there, especially after the most recent updates which make it even harder for works to show up in the tumblr search function. This is why reblogging people’s works is even more important now than it had been in the past. I’m more than willing to give your blog a shout out if you need it! Feel free to send me an ask off anon from the blog, send an IM so I can make a post with the blog’s name, or even just ask me to reblog a story I liked from your blog.

Do you have any Fic/Blog recs?

I’m pretty terrible about having the time to go and read as much fic as I used to be able to do, so I can’t really promote many other blogs than one’s I’ve already been following for a while/blogs of friends. Maybe one day that will change and I hope it does but as of right now I don’t think I’d be able to put together a very good list for people.

Do you write Dark Content?

I do not! However, this doesn’t mean I’m on a crusade against writers that do. As long as the people who write content like that keep everything tagged so that people who don’t want to read it, can skip over it, I literally do not care what they write about. But on a personal level, I do not want to write content like that, so I will not write or reblog dark content works on this blog.

If any dark content blog want to interact with my blog/works, they can do so. Just because I choose not to engage in dark content does not mean I am going to bar people that do from reading/interacting with my works if they enjoy it. I do ask that any dark content writers don’t reblog/reply to any nsfw posts of mine and add dark content to them.

#faq

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